How I Survived to Build This Brand

The Story of Still Thriving Club

Where it all really began.

This all started because of the life I’ve lived.

I’ve always struggled. Since I was a very young child, things were never easy.

I was sexually abused as a child, and for years I blamed all of my struggles on the trauma that followed. That was a huge part of it, but not the whole story.

Between the trauma, growing up as a lesbian in an environment that didn’t accept me, and living with undiagnosed ADHD, my life felt like it was set up to fall apart.

When I was eight years old, I had to go to court. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.

It was terrifying to sit in a room while the defence lawyer called me a liar. I wasn’t allowed to speak to any of my family throughout the process. As a child, that’s all you want. Just someone to sit beside you and make you feel safe.

My teenage years weren’t any easier.

I hated school unless it was a lesson I actually cared about. I was bullied constantly.

For being overweight. For being gay. For being a weird goth.

For existing.

I started smoking and taking drugs to get through the days.

It didn’t stop when I left school. The drugs got harder. The need got stronger.

Until one day I realised I was addicted.

All the while I was working full-time, training to become a hairdresser.

But I couldn’t stay in one place for long. Either the vibe was off or I got bored.

That became the pattern for most of my working life.

I did eventually get my NVQ in hairdressing.

It took longer than most people, because I moved around so much, but I got there.

And the moment I got my qualification, I changed careers completely.

That was the start of me saving myself.

There was heartbreak along the way, and love lost too. The usual things that shape you.

But that career gave me something else. Every year, a new building would open, which meant I could move to a new part of the country and start fresh.

That worked for me. The change kept me away from drugs. It gave me something to look forward to.

Even though I didn’t know I had ADHD at the time, I now understand that my brain was thriving on that change. It gave me the dopamine I needed.

But behind the scenes, I was still masking and drinking heavily.

I didn’t really know who I was. I was popular. Everyone seemed to love me.

They loved the loud, fun version of me. The party version.

But when I was alone, I cried myself to sleep every night.

I didn’t understand. I wasn’t alone.

But I felt so lonely. Struggling to cope, struggling to look after myself properly,

I was on the phone to my workplaces suicide prevention line most nights. Crying through the pain of not wanting to be here anymore.

But, the time came, to move again, a year had passed so quickly, I was happy for a brief moment. Found a house, started in a new building, broke work records, I was on an absolute life high.

And then covid hit.

I felt stuck.

I couldn’t go home to see family, and I was overly working because I was the only capable person to run the show and didn’t catch covid.

Then one day, on my last and only day off of the week, I was scrolling through Tinder. Just passing the time. Because there wasn’t really anything else to do.

And this woman popped up. She was everything I had ever dreamed of.

Smart. Gorgeous. Funny. She had a child. She felt out of my league completely.

I remember thinking there was no way she’d ever want someone like me.

Then it happened. We matched.

And she sent the first message.

I truly felt she was the love of my life. And she felt the same. The person that truly understood me without the mask.

The one that listened to this story, not with judgement, but with empathy.

Now, years later, we’re married and raising a beautifully wonderful boy together.

As time went on, something shifted though.

I wasn’t able to do the things I used to. Not because I didn’t want to.

Because I couldn’t.

It started to put a strain on us because I was so frustrated with myself. Constantly upset and angry. I kept saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m like this.”

I meant it every time. I just couldn’t explain what was happening.

Maybe another change of career would help. So once again, I went for something completely different. Joinery. Although I found passion in it, and that I was really good at it. That wasn’t the answer. Nothing was ever the answer.

Eventually, we realised there might be more to it.

Our son is autistic, so we already knew a lot about neurodivergence.

When I started looking into it properly, I saw myself clearly.

Inattentive ADHD.

Because I live in England, I went through the Right to Choose pathway.

Six months later, I had a formal diagnosis.

It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders.

Not because I wanted an excuse, but because I finally had an explanation.

There was nothing wrong with me. I just needed to do life differently.

At the same time, I was still working through childhood trauma.

Some days, I felt amazing. I got everything done. I felt like myself again. Happier. Weightless.

Other days, I felt like I didn’t deserve to be here.

Not with my family. Not on this planet.

Healing was not a straight line.

But I had full support from my wife, and I held onto that as tightly as I could.

It wasn’t easy, that’s the truth. I was not an easy person to live with. And will always admit that.

But because of that unconditional love, and that support, and that slow, painful rebuilding,

I am here.

I have survived.

I am Still Thriving.

⸻

What Still Thriving Club Means

Still Thriving Club isn’t just clothing.

It’s about every person who has lived through things that should have broken them.

It’s about survival, and softness, and building a life in a world that was not made for you.

It’s not just silly merch.

It’s a story. It’s your story.

It’s something you can wear to tell the world what you’ve made it through,

or something you can keep for yourself.

A soft, quiet reminder that even if nobody else knows what you’ve survived,

you do.

Even through everything you lost.

Even when you didn’t think you’d make it here.

You did.

And Still Thriving Club is as much yours as it is mine. It’s ours. The survivors.

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The Part You Play

Every purchase you make helps me keep building a life I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to live.

One day, it’ll help me support others in doing the same.

Thank you for being part of that.

Every little bit truly helps. 🖤🖤